As the saying goes, “A miss is as good as a mile.” Another goes, “Excess is as bad as deficiency.” Many things in life are likened to a balance scale, where too much or too little will cause it to tilt. Acting appropriately is a rare and valuable wisdom. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul also discusses the appropriate conduct between men and women. Although it is not the black-and-white truth directly revealed by God, it encompasses Paul’s rich experience and his fatherly love towards the Corinth church believers. 

From Paul's epistles, we can see that the Corinth church was not perfect. In fact, regarding relationships between men and women, they could be seen as a negative example. At the beginning of 1 Corinthians 5, Paul mentions a case of sexual immorality in the Corinthian church, including incest with a stepmother. All these are detested by God and strictly forbidden by the apostles to the Gentile believers (Acts 15:29). As mentioned in Romans 1, both men and women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. This is why Paul spent such a long portion of his letter correcting their mistakes. So, what are the appropriate principles Paul mentions regarding the relationship between men and women?

1. Adherence to the Natural Order

By "natural," it does not refer to human instincts or desires, but the natural order God established when He created the world. When God created Adam, He saw that it was not good for him to be alone, so He made him a companion, Eve. A man and a woman, mutually compatible, in harmony with each other, are meant to become one flesh. This is the original intention of marriage as established by God. God also gave husbands and wives the ability to procreate, Therefore, the physical union is pleasing to God and is what is referred to as "natural use" in Romans 1.

What, then, is unnatural? One extreme manifestation of "unnatural use" is having sexual relations with someone other than one's spouse, or even with the same sex or animals. Such people are driven by unrestrained lust. Another extreme manifestation is excessive "sexual purity" or even "sexual frigidity", where a married couple still keeps a distance from each other. Such behaviour regards the sacred union that God established as impure, and believes that celibacy is better than being united as one. Paul also rebukes this: neither the husband nor the wife has authority over their own body (1 Corinthians 7:4). Christians ought to follow the natural function designed by God to have a holy union and to reproduce.

2. Unwavering Commitment to Marriage

At many weddings, the couple express their firm commitment to love each other "til death do us part." However, if we observe today's society, divorce has become increasingly common. In Portugal, the divorce rate is even as high as 94%! Such actions are clearly detested by God. What God has joined together, let not man separate (Matthew 19:6). This is also what Paul reminded the Corinthians of: A wife is not to depart from her husband, nor a husband his wife. But even if they do, let them remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Although God's will is for us to marry within the Lord, if we have married an unbeliever due to our weakness, God does not necessarily require us to separate from our spouse. On the contrary, if our unbelieving spouse is faithful and fears God, we should not leave him or her. God's task for us may be to lead our spouse to know Him and become His child. We should demonstrate love and faith, serving as good examples of faith within our homes and building a family altar.

However, if the unbelieving spouse is unfaithful, Paul's advice is to let them go, as they have chosen to take on a different yoke on this path of marriage, for righteousness and lawlessness should not be in fellowship (2 Corinthians 6:14). God delights in a holy, unblemished marriage, where spouses build up and support one another, running this path to the kingdom of heaven with one heart. This unwavering love and commitment to our spouse until death also reflects our unwavering loyalty to God.

3. Accepting God's Will

In the body of Christ, there are many members, and God has His purpose for each one of us. Although marriage is established by God, not everyone is called to marry. Some become eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake (Matthew 19:12), like the apostle Paul, who fought the good fight for the gospel and remained celibate and unmarried throughout his life. Although it is not good for a person to be alone, if we can keep a pure heart and not be enslaved by lust, but be concerned only about the things of the Lord, then in God's eyes, we are also pleasing to Him. We would be like the Nazarites in the Old Testament, specially called by God. But if it is God's will for us to build a family, we should not deliberately avoid marriage, lest we give the devil a foothold.

In conclusion, the principle of propriety and appropriateness Paul speaks of applies to everyone, regardless of gender. The key is to maintain the identity we were called to before the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:20). If God calls us to marriage, we should make our spouses happy in marriage, follow the natural order, and remain faithful until death.  As husband and wife, we should walk this path to eternal life as one flesh. Conversely, if God has called us to remain single, then we should keep ourselves pure, serve the Lord diligently, remain faithful to Him, and hold fast to that calling. No matter the identity God has attributed to us, our ultimate goal is to obtain the crown of eternal life.