Have you been made sorrowful before?

Have you ever felt so ashamed that you wished you could just disappear, or even move to a different country just so you could start over?

Have you ever felt your heart ache till even simple daily tasks - waking up, making coffee, getting ready for work - felt monumental?

How did you cope?

Worldly Sorrow Produces Death

When we are overcome with grief, we may wallow in self pity, and just keep feeling sorry for ourselves and how unfortunate we are.

We may resort to some form of escapism, trying to distract ourselves from the problem via addictive habits.

We sometimes even start blaming others, lashing out even against those who care for us.

Such sorrowing is worldly, because it centers around ourselves. Paul tells us that worldly sorrow produces death (2 Cor 7:10), because it hinders us from facing and overcoming our weaknesses to become victorious Christians.

Godly Sorrow Leads to Salvation

On the other hand, there is another sorrowing mentioned here by Paul - a godly sorrowing - characterised by the responses it produces - diligence, vehement desire and zeal to clear oneself! (2 Cor 7:7,11)

More importantly, these responses are not just a desire for self-improvement. Rather, they are fuelled by the desire to be right with God. This could be observed in the Corinthians, who were stirred up because of the rebuke of Paul, God’s worker and a father figure to them in the faith (1 Cor 4:15).

This sorrow drives us in the correct direction - towards God, in repentance, leading to salvation.

How to Sorrow Correctly?

Experiencing grief is an inevitable part of life. It may be due to a loss, or a regret, or disappointment due to unmet expectations. But how we respond to this grief makes a big difference in the outcome. Let us take advice from Paul and the Corinthians in these 2 ways when we feel we are being overwhelmed by sorrow.

First, we should open our hearts, especially to those in the faith who are concerned for us (2 Cor 7:2, James 5:16). Oftentimes, our instinct when we are hurt is to close up. But being alone in our thoughts can be dangerous because our emotions can make things seem worse than they are, or reinforce our prejudices and biases. Confiding in others can help us to see things from a more objective perspective. They can remind us of the word of God. Most importantly, they remind us that we have the greatest Confidant, our Creator, who knows and cares for us even more than we do. 

Secondly, we should stir up our zeal (2 Cor 7:11). Once again, this can seem counterintuitive as we can feel very unmotivated when we feel depressed. But by reminding ourselves of where we have fallen, or what areas have we let God down, we shift our focus from ourselves to God. We can take comfort from Jesus’ Beatitudes (Matt 5:1-12), where He tells us that those who are poor in spirit, those who mourn, and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness are truly blessed as He will comfort and fill them. 

May the Father of mercies and God of all comfort (2 Cor 1:3) help us in all our sorrows.